Dark
by AmeliaBlack
Summary: Ginny reflects on her past and what made her so 'dark.'


Dark is a word I tried not to use very often, but it seemed as though everytime I thought about myself it popped up. Angsty maybe, depressed? No, my dark was a different kind of dark. I wasn't suicidal, my darkness was deeper than that, almost burned into my skin. I never wanted to be dark, it wasn't ever a part of my life plan, it just happened. Sometimes I blamed my parents but it wasn't their fault, they couldn't help it either. I was just me. Dark little me, and nothing could change that.

-----

Arthur and Molly Weasley looked on as their only daughter, Genevra, played a starring role in her grade school's reproduction of 'Romeo and Juliet.' It wasn't the best performance out, they were only grade school kids after all, and at the age of 11 Ginny was definitely not the greatest Juliet. Molly folded and unfolded a letter in her hand as she looked upon her daughter, a letter she had received 6 times before, each time addressed to a different child. Genevra Weasley, like every other member of her family, was to be attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry this year. The tears in Molly's eyes were not caused by Ginny's dramatic acting, or romantic balcony scenes, but by the thought of her one and only daughter leaving her for almost a year. Arthur's arm snaked around his wife's shoulders in an effort to comfort her as they looked on, Ginny dramatically stabbing herself with a plastic knife and falling to the ground in a pool of fake blood. With the play finally over they crept backstage and found Ginny talking avidly to her teacher, fake blood dripping from her hands and dress as her arms swept about in grand gestures. The teacher looked upon Arthur and Molly and smiled, heading toward them with Ginny tottering behind. Arthur took the parchment from Molly's quivering fingers and held it up to the teacher before him. Being a part of the teaching staff at 'Magical Tuition for the Talented Younger Generation', Professor Starza had seen this letter many times before. She simply nodded her head a gestured toward Ginny in an indication that they should be telling her, not her Professor. With a slight tilt of his head which somewhat resembled a nod, Arthur led his wife and daughter to the fire place inside, Ginny looking at him inquisitively when they reached it,

"Daddy? What's that piece of paper for?"

"It's - er - I'll explain when we get home sweetheart." With that he threw some floo powder into the fire and pushed Ginny inside, nodding his head a little as she yelled,

"_The Burrow!_"

-----

My mind constantly takes me on roller coaster rides to my past. Just the other day I was thinking about my grade school years. I used to be so sure of myself, starring in plays and I had so many friends then. I always hoped I wouldn't have to go where all the others went. It seemed like a horrible, dark place. Then they told me I had to go. My own parents! Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George and my favorite brother Ron had all gone there. I cried so hard when I found out Ron was going. I almost cried at the train station when he left but Harry Potter showed up. Wonderful, handsome and oh so heroic Harry Potter. I didn't cry in front of him. I liked him back then. Now? Well now there's nothing to like, he doesn't exist, perhaps he's the reason I became dark in the first place.

-----

"Hey, Ginny! Get over here!" Ginny spun around and caught the eye of Luna Lovegood. With a small groan she made her way towards the giddy girl and slumped down next to her in front of a large oak tree standing proud in the Hogwarts grounds. Not only did she not want to be seen with Luna 'Loony' Lovegood, she had a lot of homework to do aswell, 6th year wasn't easy. Her eyes wandered to Luna with an exasperated expression,

"What is it Luna?" She gasped a little as she saw a fine, white powder sitting in Luna's hand. She grinned that 'Loony' grin and poured some of it into Ginny's hand,

"Powdered Skrewt claw, all you have to do it put some on your tongue and let it dissolve, the best feeling ever!"

"Luna! This stuff's illegal!" Luna placed her free hand over Ginny's mouth and shook her head,

"Not so loud Ginny, trust me, it'll get you through 6th year no problem! I've been on the stuff for ages, you just look like you need some." Ginny eyes the white powder in her hand morosely for a moment before shrugging her shoulders,

"If I get sick from this, I'm going to throttle you Luna." She placed the white powder on her tongue and shuddered a little at the feeling as it dissolved in her mouth. All of a sudden her head began spinning and her limbs felt so light she could barely feel them. The image of Luna swam before her, becoming resolute again in mere moments, and her brain felt like it was beginning to swell. With a small smile she staggered away from Luna, bumping into Harry who said something like,

"Loony Lovegood give you whatever she's on?" It was funny how Harry got things right without even knowing it. She made it to her dormitory and fell down spread-eagled onto her bed. She wasn't sick, she was addicted.

-----

I remember being innocent once, it seems a long time ago now. My life got changed though. Innocence is nothing to me anymore. All the innocence left the world when Harry did.

-----

Ginny cursed at herself loudly. Luckily, no-one else was in the dormitory. She stared at the white powder covering the floor and pulled out her wand,

"Scourgify." The white powder disappeared and she cursed even louder, Skrewt's claw wasn't cheap. She pulled out her emergency bag and placed some on her tongue quickly, giggling a little at the sensation, even after 6 months it gave her the same sensation. Her 6th year exams were coming up, her excuse? She needed stress relief, and this seemed the only form. Suddenly she heard a scream. She ran to the window and shuddered a little, but stayed surprisingly calm at the sight of Lord Voldemort below. Everything went so fast, like a fast forward button had been hit and all of a sudden both Voldemort and Harry were on the ground, dead. Ginny wanted to cry but she couldn't. The Skrewt's claw affected her, made her happy when she should have been sad. Harry's dead... _Harry's dead... HARRY'S DEAD!_ She tried to tell herself over and over again but she didn't cry, instead she went back to her bed and used up the rest of her powdered Skrewt's claw.

-----

Now, everything is the way it was never meant to be. Ron and Hermione are together, mum and dad divorced, and me? Well, I'm just dark.


End file.
